A Season of Conflict

This Lenten season we are spending time with Jesus as he walks through conflict and change on his way to the cross. Conflict is often uncomfortable. Few people enjoy conflict. Most of us would rather not have to work through conflict. Unfortunately, conflict is part of relationships. We would do better to learn how to handle conflict than to try to avoid it.

Here are some “rules” for fair fighting taken from Sunday’s sermon.

The first rule is to fight in private. Don’t take your complaints and your anger to social media or the grocery store. Have enough care for your partner to deal with conflict between the two of you. The second is to describe your feelings. Tell your partner-I feel angry when you play with your phone instead of talking to me. Don’t start with “You always ignore me.” Or “you always leave the cabinet doors open, you are so lazy”. That doesn’t help to build a relationship. A third rule is to remember you are fighting with someone you love. This is true of your spouse or your child or your sibling or the friend you have had for many years. The person in front of you is not your enemy. They are someone with whom you disagree. The counselors tell us that we should pick a time to talk about conflicts. Don’t just ambush someone as soon as they come home after a long day of work. We should also keep on topic. It is easy to get so angry that you start telling the other person every thing they have done wrong in the past 30 years. That isn’t helpful and will not lead to a resolution that strengthens the relationship.

I hope all of your conflicts are resolved in a peaceful and kind way.

Blessings,

Jennifer